Former teacher’s pet Greg Beato has completed his transformation from nerdy kid at school who grassed on his peers to nerdy guy at Uni who grasses on fellow students for being too loud.
Greg, described by former classmates as “your quintessential suck-up” and “Oh that little shit who loved tests”, had been expected to make the natural progression for quite some time.
The announcement, therefore, surprised absolutely no one. This didn’t stop him from showing off the “achievement” through social media, although The Whip cannot confirm if anyone actually cared enough to see the posts.
Greg has had a long and industrious career of brown-nosing authority and acting superior to those around him, so the sub-warden role suits him down to a T. Sources tell us that his obsession for telling others off started in nursery, when he used to rat on other children for eating playdoh.
We spoke to Greg’s mum Lucinda to hear what she thought.
“It’s great, yeah, it will be really good for little Greg’s CV. I always knew he had it in him to sacrifice potential friendships in exchange for minimal power.
“We have a strict policy in our house: control first, companionship second and I’m glad to see Greg is living up to that mantra. Looks like making him listen to radio 4 as a kid instead of watching Teletubbies is finally paying off.”
It is unclear what the future holds for Greg, although the bookies’ favourite is a step up to fulfil the lifelong dream of becoming a Traffic Warden.