Bristol UK

Student can’t wait for impending Sky Plus bender at home

‘Avin it large.

Although Christmas is usually a time for giving, one University of Bristol second year, Dylan Getchel, has more important things on his mind. The Surrey born student, like so many others, is looking forward to an enormous Sky+ bender over Christmas after a full term of 6 gruelling hours a week.

A semester of slim pickings limited to Freeview, including Top Gear, Dave and endless episodes of Come Dine With Me have reportedly taken their toll on the young man in question. This, combined with a aggressively worded letter from the TV license people, has narrowed down entertainment options to almost intolerable levels.

Agreeing to speak to The Whip, Mr. Getchel spoke about his excitement for returning home and subsequent TV spree:

“I mean, once you’re on Sky, you really can’t go back. When I first arrived at Wills Hall in first year, I was disgusted to learn that there was no Sky TV in my room.”

He continued “I can’t lie to you, it’s been a stressful few months without it, I’ve been getting desperate for my fix and I can’t wait to go absolutely crazy on the Sky box. Sky Cinema, Sky Sports, Sky Atlantic – it just makes me feel so alive. But not Sky Witness…never Sky Witness.”

Dylan also shared his unique trick to maximise channel-changing speed. “In preparation, I’ve been working tirelessly on a handmade leather TV remote holster” he explained. “It’s the perfect size for a Sky remote and allows for a supremely quicker draw. Cool, isn’t it? It took me ages, I haven’t been to uni in weeks!”

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