The Whip has learnt that one festive shindig left family members shocked and appalled as club bouncer ID’d frail grandmother on the door.
As the holiday season draws closer, family and friends are uniting to partake in Christmas festivities. However, this joyous get-together was devastated by one absolute unit’s inability to switch-off. Chris, aged 34, had been working in the security industry for over a decade before the incident with his Nan took place.
The Whip caught up with him for his reaction to the situation.
“You can never be too careful. Girls are looking older and older these days. They wear gallons of makeup to get into clubs.” Explained Chris, meticulously checking his 6-year-old daughter’s purse for illicit substances.
“I’m putting my career on the line here, and I will not being having minors drinking alcoholic beverages on these premises. I just arm locked my nephew for having brandy on his Christmas pudding”
Maureen, aged 92, was eventually permitted into the family home, but was left traumatised as her grandson followed her round the establishment, conducted a pat-down, and proceeded choke her out.
“She claimed she hadn’t been drinking, but there was sherry in that trifle. I know the type, one sip of wine spritzer and they’re completely wankered.
“I could see something attached to her leg and thought she was trying to sneak in a bag of white wine, which is why I took immediate and violent action. Turns out it was just a catheter.”
Chris is a hot contender for the club’s new head of security.