The end of term holds a few inevitabilities for Leeds freshers: deadlines, trips to the German market and the much hyped – yet hugely awkward – Christmas meal.
Christmas is a time of coming together, and in few settings is this more apparent than when a group of five people – who have nothing in common apart from the fact they share the same 8 x 3 metre kitchen – decide to meet up, cook a chicken and self-consciously listen to Fairytale of New York whilst wearing paper hats.
These meals do not always go to plan and Central Villager Yasmin Key contacted The Whip to reveal her particularly bad experience.
“We’d never really spent time together before, and I certainly don’t see us doing it again,” explained Yasmin, safely in the confines of her own room, “because we agreed it was such a toxic mix of boring and uncomfortable. Like being forced to read a dictionary, in a library, naked.”
The evening, which started with a confrontation over whether they were going to have chicken or a nut roast, started badly and quickly went south.
“Two of my flatmates, both of whom study Politics and Economics, got into fiery debate regarding the feasibility of an Anarcho-Marxist society in the 21st century – as if that were an option.
“The other one, Dan, bored us all to death by again explaining how Steven Gerrard was wasted for England playing the traditional holding midfield position and should have been given the free-role just behind the striker.”
This truckload of boring conversation, to Yasmin’s annoyance, in turn drowned out the dulcet tones of Johhny Cash’s Little Drummer Boy.
Yasmin has confirmed this is the last time they will ever attempt such a meeting in the name of festive fun and sees herself spending noticeably more time out of the flat in the New Year.