A group of second years hailing from the University of Bristol have set in motion a vote of no confidence to oust their self-appointed ‘group mum’. The vote, which takes place on Friday, was reportedly called after the ‘mother’ in question had to be carried home from the Clifton Triangle on three consecutive nights.
Our political correspondent for North Bristol has revealed that 19 year old Sophie Bellamy’s house have ‘completely lost faith’ in her ability to keep up appearances as the most maternally inclined member of their clubbing cohort and that her recent behaviour has ‘thrown the group into disarray’.
“We all know we need a strong leader” remarked one of the group members speaking to The Whip on Thursday. “And that’s what she was all through first year. But she can barely hack a medium length pre-drinks now without descending into an uncoordinated, paralytic mess.”
She continued “We should’ve seen this coming towards the end of last term. She’d be the only one wanting to remain for a final VK, but when the rest of us decided we’re leaving, lo and behold it’s ‘what’s best for the group’ and what she wanted to do all along.”
Sophie was available to make a statement:
”Vote how you please. But remember, vote for me, you’ll get a night out and a good time. Vote for someone else, and then further down the line someone like Jemima could be in power, the lefty scumbag. Next thing we know we’ll be signing for a house in Stokes Croft and spending our nights in the back of Hamilton House smoking herbal tobacco. Is that what you REALLY want?”