Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form

“I just need more time”

British prime minister and professional shambles Theresa May has officially started filling out an extenuating circumstances form for Brexit, a source close to Parliament has claimed.

The action comes after the commons vote on her government’s Brexit deal ended resoundingly in defeat, with many MPs claiming she “didn’t answer the question at all,” and that she ‘did not clearly define terms used throughout the essay in the introduction.”

The Prime Minister has issued this statement following the vote: “I’ve had a lot on recently. Govey’s 47th was last night and I said I was going to that ages ago. All the Eton lot were there so I couldn’t really miss it.

“I guess in hindsight I maybe spent too much time on domestic policy in the Christmas holidays and probably should’ve worked a bit harder on the whole EU thing, but it’ll be alright. I can always submit late, can’t I?”

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