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Student saves seat in the library by pissing on it

“I guess three years at this place has finally sent her feral.”

Being the height of exams, students regularly use jumpers, old folders or unused books to save their mates a place at the library. Today The Whip can reveal one third year decided to give up the deceit and used her own piss to save her space.

 

On hearing the news, The Whip caught up with the student – Amelia Joy – to hear her side of events.

 

“I don’t see anything wrong,” revealed the zoology student – crouched on all fours and using her right foot to scratch the back of her neck. “My mate asked me to make it clear which space I’d specifically saved for her so that’s what I decided to do.

 

“Edward Boyle level 12 is a jungle this time of year, and I’ve seen Attenborough – to survive in the jungle you’ve got to mark your territory.

 

“Nobody’s falling for lazily scattered sheets of lined paper anymore. I wanted to make clear this place was taken, and pissing is nature’s way of conveying that message.”

 

Speaking to Amelia’s mate, The Whip was able to gauge her reaction to finding the wee soaked workspace.

 

“Amelia sent in a message to the group chat saying, ‘there’s a piss covered seat with your name on it.’ I thought she was joking, I mean no one would actually do that, right?

 

“I guess three years of this place has finally sent her feral. Come to think of it, I was looking through Amelia’s clothes the other day to find a top I leant her, and they all smelt a bit… pissy”

 

The Whip understands that Amelia has since started working from home and that, as long as she’s walked once a day, is a perfectly amicable houseguest.

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