House so cold student misses deadline waiting for laptop to defrost

A physics student was left metaphorically and literally chilled to the bone yesterday evening after what scientists have labelled an ‘interior cold snap’ completely froze his laptop. Tom Underwood spent seven hours trying to defrost the cold computer with a tumble drier, microwave and his mate’s spicy DJ mix to access his thermodynamics essay, but was unfortunately unable to thaw it in time for the deadline.

Reports from the property revealed the laptop itself froze to a particularly icy desk after his landlord delayed ‘minor’ house repairs. The flat on Chandos Road currently suffers from a broken boiler, four shattered windows and a missing front door.

We caught up with the undergraduate this morning to see what he made of the debacle:

“I’m devastated. My degree is all I have left after all my housemates froze to death. I really wish I hadn’t signed up for the ski trip now, because this has really put me off snow.”

He continued “The frustrating thing is this could have all been avoided and I could’ve got my work in on time. I knitted three jumpers last week after our landlord said he couldn’t fix the heating. If I’d just done one of them without sleeves it would have been the perfect fit for my PC.”

Faculty staff have told The Whip that Tom is struggling to write a replacement after his MacBook over-cooled for a second time and his frostbitten fingers were amputated. They confirmed his application for extenuating circumstances has been successful and that his grade ‘will be frozen until his recovery’.