Liberal snowflakes excited about liberal snowflakes


Hundreds of Bristol University’s most liberal snowflakes have been blown away this morning by the unprecedented levels of snowfall currently sweeping the south west. Left-leaning centrist students across Bristol have been rejoicing as their tiny, apolitical namesakes cover the city’s hills ready for sledging, snowball fights and ski practice.

The term ‘liberal snowflake’, popularised by right wing media outlets who don’t know how to criticise people with moral compasses, has seen a recent winter embrace by young people who reportedly take no offence to being labelled as socially progressive ice crystals.

“Hurrah for the snow! It’s a dream come true,” exclaimed one sociologically adept student. “Not only can we have a great time with our friends, but because of how late in the seasonal cycle it’s fallen, it only adds more weight to the irrefutable bank of evidence that our terrible treatment of the environment will eventually destroy us all!”

Academics were equally as delighted by the winter scenes enveloping Avon:

“It’s great to see the students having fun after exams,” commented a professor at UWE.

“I know, look at them go!” one University of Bristol research fellow chimed in.

“This is a prime example of how the pervasive forces of cultural Marxism have duped thousands of ignorant alt-left individuals,” agreed visiting lecturer Jordon Peterson jollily.

Some students remained unenthused by the changing weather.

“Yeh, I guess it’s nice to have more liberal snowflakes around to bounce ideas off, that’s kinda exciting” remarked geography student Paul Geftburg. “I mean, it’s not ‘unisex toilets in the Merchant Venture’s Building’ exciting, but it’s still something”.

Even further, some were completely against it. “The left’s reaction to the snowfall has been utterly disgusting,” said one politics undergraduate. “For one, look what colour it is. Clifton and Redland aren’t exactly areas that need much help becoming overbearingly white, and they’ve been given a pretty big helping hand here.”

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