Student accidentally freezes her eggs in bills-not-included house


Scientists were gobsmacked earlier this week by second year Emily Smith, whose Fallowfield house was so cold she inadvertently underwent the medical procedure oocyte cryopreservation. Plummeting temperatures combined with her household’s reluctance to turn on the heating are believed to have led to this groundbreaking scientific incident. Interviewed at her home, Biology student Emily stated through chattering teeth that the freezing of her eggs is probably the “worthiest contribution” she will ever make to research in her academic field. She went on to add that “it’s sort of funny,” that despite not managing to attend a single 9am, she has single-handedly facilitated a breakthrough in biological discoveries. The second year did admit that it was “really, really cold”, and “quite unpleasant” living in a house where touching the boiler is strictly forbidden. In a bid to save £1.36 a month, the group had gone as far as to forcibly remove the ‘on’ button, to prevent any members of the house making rash decisions in times of desperation. It is now predicted that the current medical procedure for freezing eggs – which can cost up to £5,000 – will be scrapped nationwide in favour for making the patient spend the month of January in an 8-man student house in Manchester, Leeds or Newcastle. The results, as the medical community have learnt this week, are likely to be the same. Emily has yet to comment on any future plans for her now immortal offspring.

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