President Bush owns up to 9/11 on LeedsFess

Jet fuel doesn’t melt steel beams.

A new Facebook page has led to Leeds students candidly sharing their hot takes and deepest secrets. Last night, ex-President George W. Bush chose to use the platform to make a much darker confession; that he was responsible for the terrorist attack on the twin towers.

The page has so far has been used as a means for students to anonymously gain validation for mundane opinions on university life. As to why Bush chose this Leeds based student forum remains unknown.

The post read: “tfw u orchestrate a terror attack on ur own country in order 2 justify the invasion of a foreign regime to destabilise the Middle East and secure oil reserves #woops #itwasme – GWBjr.”

The post included a 72-page document detailing the political motivations and practical logistics of faking the single most influential moment of the 21st century, fundamentally reshaping the Western approach to the Middle East and defining the contemporary global political landscape.

This was soon followed by the equally newsworthy admittance that “There is no better feeling than just sitting on the loo scrolling through ya phone with ya knickers round ya ankles for a solid five hours.”

Bush’s confession has garnered a tumultuous media reaction, with ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair commenting “@George W Bush u ok hun?”

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