Student delighted to pay £45 for opportunity to get a bus to get in a big queue to spend more money in a field

Undoubtedly, Exeter’s premier end of academic year is EGB, or the ‘Enchanted Garden Ball’, and the recent ticket release saw all tickets sell out within minutes. One of the lucky buyers was Catherine Smithies, who could not resist contacting The Whip to share her elation.

The event, which takes place on the 1st of June at Shobrooke Park in Crediton (wherever that is), is famous for being a wonderful celebration of capitalism, with the £45 ticket allowing such benefits as entry to the park and a go on a few fairground rides whilst in completely inappropriate attire.

“I was buzzing that I got a ticket! I had been waiting on the Fixr app refreshing the page for three weeks; I didn’t sleep, eat or wash just in case they did an early release,” admitted Catherine, who our reporter suspected had still yet to do any of these.

“I think of it more of an investment than a ticket,” she continued, reassuring herself rather than our reporter: “So what if there’s no travel, or food or drinks included in that price? The beauty of it is it drags the whole thing out: I get to post a story of getting the bus there; three in the queue; getting our first drinks; it’s all about constructing a good narrative with a satisfying denouement!”

Many students seek alternative means of celebrating or commiserating post-exams, with the Facebook event ‘Impy Garden Ball’ gaining a lot of traction recently. “There’s something about a piss-up in a Spoons beer garden which is more wholesome and all-encompassing than getting dressed up to pay for overpriced shit in a field,” commented prospective attendee Lawrence Cook.

“I would much rather rock up, order a few on the app, get a bit waved and stumble into whichever club is nearest to drown my sorrows; but hey, that’s just me!”