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Leeds UK

‘I love you…r tits’: rugby lad bottles Valentine’s day confession

Love is a losing game

A member of the Leeds University rugby team has yet again resorted to objectifying his girlfriend’s body rather than admitting his love and dedication to her, despite having been together for 9 months.

Robbie Fenton, a hulking second year, and his girlfriend Emily Thwaites, were on a date at the Trinity kitchen in Leeds city centre, celebrating their relationship on Valentine’s day. After tucking into a rack of ribs, Robbie attempted to articulate his heartfelt emotions.

“So, I’d been planning this for the past week. Took her out to a nice restaurant in the shopping centre, had even drunk my beer at a normal speed rather than chopping it and throwing the empty glass at the wall… I’d ticked all the boxes. The atmosphere was perfect, and I thought, here you go Robbie you can do this, big man.”

Unfortunately, Robbie’s romantic sentiment was interrupted by his raging masculinity.

“I started saying those three big words and I thought, fuck, what would the lads say if they heard this? Turned into a right wet wipe I had. So, I just went back to what I know best: her tits.”

We caught up with Emily for her reaction to Robbie’s comment.

“Robbie always gets sexually excited around food, but I thought he could at least try and inject some romance into our Valentine’s day meal. He just doesn’t seem to care about the real me: I’m still saved in his phone as ‘Knockers’.”

It has been confirmed that the pair have now broken up and Robbie is channelling all his energy back into Rugby and his lads.

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