For many students at University, halls life is synonymous with mould-infested kitchens and draughty bedrooms. However, for those lucky enough to live in catered accommodation, the transition from home to halls is less agonising. For some, the main inconvenience of moving back to halls is the arduous task of choosing what to have for dinner at the refectory.
We caught up with jaunty “Charlie Mo” fresher Jonty Tinkworth for further details:
“Choosing between beef stroganoff and shepherd’s pie is fucking hard when you’re hungover”, explained the bucktoothed airhead. “There’s just too much choice. Don’t get me wrong, the food’s fairly nice…apart from the scrambled eggs, now THOSE are just putrid.”
However, after speaking to his flatmate, Tara, The Whip was able to reveal that Jonty was in no right position to criticise the refectory food after what she referred to as ‘the fried egg AGA saga’:
“Fuck me it was moronic…he thought you could crack an egg straight onto the top of the stove. No pan, no nothing!” revealed Tara, “bloody Neanderthal. I can tell you now, the smell of burnt egg white is not one you want lingering in your kitchen for the best part of two weeks.”
Despite an intensive course over Christmas with a Michelin star chef, Jonty’s cooking skills are yet to improve. According to his flatmate, Jonty is still certain frying an egg requires placing the cracked egg inside a porcelain dish then leaving it for 25 minutes in an oven pre-heated to 180oC. Bless him.