Jeremy Corbyn’s party so deserted ‘The Noise Pages’ give glowing review

Workers of the world, did you lose my invite?!

The Noise Pages were yesterday pleased to announce that Jeremy Corbyn’s party was so bereft of revellers that they slept well for the first time in twenty five years.

The infamous house party complaint site posted a five star review in the early hours of the morning quoting a very satisfactory level of annoyance, stemming from a party almost entirely devoid of people.

It is understood that at least seven people left halfway through the party, at which no music was playing. Corbyn and his friend Tom were playing a game of ‘recycle the parcel’ when the review was posted.

The Whip caught up with the owner of the website, Anthony Water who had this to say:

“For the first time in decades a party has caught my eye for the right reasons. There was no noise, almost no attendees – in short nothing to invoke the wrath of Bristol’s most seditious publication.

“I actually almost felt sorry for the poor bloke, he’d clearly spent a lot of time organising the party, only for a bunch of people to leave very early.

“From my ladder I could clearly see an assortment of colourful hammer and sickle cupcakes, entirely untouched. In fact, I had much more of an issue with the after party, started by local badboy Chukka, which, though sparsely attended too, blasted UK Garage all night.”

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