the whip

Student spends 7 hours making tea and coffee in preparation for Deloitte internship

For many aspiring students, the coveted summer internship at a major graduate employer is a crucial rung on the ladder of success. One pragmatic final year, Ollie Overhead, has prepared himself for a summer of (unpaid) work experience at accounting firm Deloitte by practising his tea and coffee making skills.

The Whip caught up with this industrious student for an account of his future prospects.

“I’ve heard that when you start an internship you’re stuck on the tea and coffee for ages. You’ve got to perfect that before they let you progress to things like shredding paper. It really is invaluable experience though, I’m going to be boiling a kettle alongside some of the great boiling minds in Britain!

“I’ve really perfected the milk to coffee ratio. I know those guys in head office need the ultimate caffeine hit to keep them vitalised, but then you’ve got the right amount of milk for a comforting creamy cushion to sooth the head,” explained Ollie, his eyes twitching frantically due to the extensive amount of caffeine he consumed taste-testing his brews.

“My friend did a similar internship last year without practising and she ended up with her boss pouring a ‘criminally inadequate’ tea over her head. I’m not taking any chances.”

Ollie also admitted that Deloitte confirmed in his interview they will not be offering him a paid job after his internship, due to their company policy of graduate free labour.

“After this though, I’ve managed to secure an exciting internship at a new start-up business called Pyramid Schematics. I’ve just got to pay them some money for the experience I’m gaining: I make the tea and coffee AND get to buy the biscuits. God, the future’s bright.”