Disgusting! This girl went on a date, went back to his, and couldn’t even remember his candidate number!

What a monster

A second-year anthropology student, Henry Tame, was perilously close to infatuation when his date regrettably confirmed that she had forgotten his candidate number.

Henry informed his friends about it the next morning over a downtrodden latte, lamenting, “Yeah, me and 1618409 just didn’t work out. I’m so over dating man, I just want to focus on myself, the course, and getting back to watching Grand Designs with you guys.”

“It’s so nice seeing you put yourself first Henry, I legit thought you were going to stop coming to The Brass Pig for that girl!” teased Alyssia warmly. The group proceeded to laugh pervasively for several minutes.

After the incident, Henry proceeded to spend the ensuing days outside various university libraries, discussing the audacity of his dates’ behaviour with heedless students looking for filters,

“I mean, you know me, under my marble-sculpted frame, there’s a lovebird that just wants to sing. But hey, the lovebird can wait in the wings another day, this is not my first rodeo.” Henry aggressively laughed at his seminar acquaintance, “I guess it’s just a consequence of being an absolute slice: everyone wants a piece of me. ‘Chop me up and call me bread,’ that’s what I say!”

As preventative measures for future heartbreak, and to make the most out of his chiselled frame, Henry has taken up street dance classes. While he has yet to meet ‘The One’ or, as Henry says, ‘The 1298356’, the hopeless romantic is at least 50% right for now.

To attend Henry’s street dance showcase, featuring performances from 2671993 and 3200874, tickets are on sale at the SU now!

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