‘The Berkeley Spoons’ and 10 other Yankee Candle scents that never took off

When the jar-men came to town on a warm summer’s day last year with a proposition for the proprietor of The Berkeley J.D. Wetherspoon’s things seemed promising, remembers bar manager Tony Tibble.

“We were gassed,” he said.

Six months later and in spite of heavy investment, the collaboration between the scent-maker Yankee and the public house is now struggling to get off the shelves.

“We are no longer gassed,” Tony told The Whip.

If its poor performance persists, ‘The Berkeley Spoons’ represents another setback for the candle company’s new experimental fragrance division – their last ten offerings, listed below, have all been recalled:

  1. Wetsuit
  2. Hand Sanitiser
  3. Wotsits
  4. America’s Flawed Justice System
  5. Scrabble
  6. Crust (Bread Edition)
  7. Crust (Adjectival Edition)
  8. War
  9. Goat-bleat
  10. The Bad Bean-Boozled Beans Mixed Up and Made Into A Candle

The Whip reached out to Kate Margola, head of Yankee’s ESD, for comment:

“We feel like we’ve delivered a really good product to the market here. We might have been getting an earful from some Bristolians, but here at Yankee we think that the numpty nay-sayers haven’t had enough of a noseful yet!”

“’The Berkeley Spoons’ is packed with wonderful scent-notes: a few droplets of Guinness, a bit of fizzy Thatcher’s Haze – delicious – and a loving little dollop of E-3849210. E-3849210 – that’s right, here at Yankee, we’ve synthesised that feeling of being two and a half pints deep into a lovely smelly number. Go on, have a whiff of this snifter! We dare you.”

Bar manager Tony had a different take on the situation.

“Well, I think the problem that these Americans have got is that they’re being undercut. Some entrepreneurial local lads, they’ve been selling their version door to door. Doesn’t look like your normal candle, though.

“Small little flakey things, um… Yeah! That’s it, urinal cakes. Soaked in a bit of piss. Burn one of them in a jar or I dunno, a bowl if you’re not too posh, and my God – mon bloody dieu – the smell. So, so Ev-o-ca-tive. It takes you right back to the corner with the fruities… I’ll tell you, those lads know what they’re doing. I’ve bought a few myself.”