There was uproar at 156 Wilmslow road today when seven housemates discovered that the eighth member of their household had eaten the entirety of their pancake day preparations.
Will Walker, a notoriously greedy second year, managed to devour an astonishing quantity of toppings which had been purchased especially for a Shrove Tuesday celebration.
In an interview, the student seemed bewildered by the outrage caused by his ‘little snack session.’
“I honestly had no idea they’d been bought specifically for something. Otherwise I would never have touched them. I simply thought, ‘they’ve been left on the counter, they must therefore be for everyone’.”
Walker further explained the accident, stating that throughout his time at university he’d adopted a ‘help yourself mentality’, wherein ‘what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine’.
“Admittedly, I don’t really have any food in the cupboard – or the fridge, now that I think about it – to contribute to the sharing system that I like to live by, but if I did, of course I’d share it.”
The gorged student then asked if we could resume our interview in the living room, feeling ‘a little bit bloated’ and needing to recline on the sofa.
Too enraged to relay their opinions to The Whip, Will’s housemates’ screams of “it’s beyond my comprehension how it’s physically possible!” and “why would you even want to eat 14 lemons?!” were heard ringing throughout the house.