Exeter UK

Holland Hall student generously donates half of double-barrelled surname to Brazilian footballer

Not all heroes wear capes.

In an act of extraordinary generosity, pioneering altruist, Hugo Fitzherbert-Whittingdale of Holland Hall, has donated half of his surname to Brazilian footballer, Fred.

Upon watching Manchester United’s recent Premier League, the History student was appalled to find that many of the Brazilian footballers went by only one name. He told his story to The Whip.

“I was at the Ram with the lads, lashing and watching the footy, and saw this Brazilian chap, Fred, who bizarrely seemed to have only a first name. So, I thought I’d sink my old fashioned and have a gander while the babe at that bar fixed me number five (what a leg.)”

“Turns out there’s loads of them. Fred, Fernandinho, Alisson, Ederson, Marcelo, Neymar… ‘this is not just one guy’, I thought, ‘this is bloody systematic.’ To think, I was smashing South America a couple years ago on the gappers, and did nothing about it! So, I had a little chinwag with my mate Chompsy, and we came up with a killer POA.”

“We agreed that since we actually have five surnames between the two of us, we could donate some of them to the peasants over in Brazil. I mean, most people know us as Whitters and Hurlers anyway. Ruddy good hack, don’t you think?”

Hoping it would have a propagative effect, Hugo and Chompsy made their charitable deeds very public, along with an appeal for donations of family crests for underprivileged Brazilians to put on their signet rings.

Sadly, neither scheme caught on, and they are yet to hear back from the Brazilian footballers they contacted. They have, however, both legally changed their names.

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