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‘And this is the gay quarter’ says tour guide pointing to last straight-free corner at OMG

A local Bristol tour guide was spotted gesturing to the last straight-free section of OMG, now dubbed the club’s ‘gay quarter’, last Thursday whilst showing a group of culture hungry tourists around the city.

“Unfortunately, a coordinated invasion by straight, mostly white university students and locals between 2010 and 2018, with their intrinsic desire to ruin absolutely everything for minority groups, has seen the space dedicated to the venue’s initial market decrease by 75%. Like many European cities, OMG now only has a solitary gay quarter” explained the guide for bristolcitytours.com.

Sightseer’s eager to gawk at OMG’s only remaining gay corner comes as no surprise to the LGBT+ community members who frequent the nightlife hotspot, with one commenting “What? More straight people coming to ogle at us facilitating a significantly more wholesome and less aggressive clubbing experience than they could ever dream of creating? Happens every bloody week mate.”

The last decade has indeed seen a rise in students after cheesy tunes and cheap Jäegerbombs flocking to the club every Wednesday. However, certain students are rumoured to like it so much that they have begun infiltrating every other night of the week. With them have come an unfortunate wave of sharks, straight men in search of straight women, to the LGBT+ club.

The Owner of OMG, Katrina Fowell, spoke to The Whip yesterday:

“The presence of straight people in OMG has long been tolerated by the LGBT community. Some of them aren’t so bad once you get to know them. But there’s too many. And they’re all looking for something that just really isn’t ‘OMG’.”

“Some of our regulars were forced to go to SWX last week.” she shuddered “A few others even went to Basement 45. I know. God rest their souls.”

 

 

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