Brass Pig install viewpoint telescopes for punters to better judge length of Mbargos queue
The Brass Pig has followed suite of many famous landmarks and attractions this week, installing a viewfinder for punters eager to reassure themselves that they can still get into Bargs if they leave in the next ten minutes or so.
A spokesperson for the public house, which is located just off Queen’s Road, stated that the telescopes have been installed as a healthy and safety precaution after several students fell off the smoking area terrace trying to get a better picture of the queue slowly building across the road.
“Students come to our fantastic pub to pre drink because of it’s atmosphere, great selection of alcohol and friendly, welcoming door staff” explained Thomas Meddinton, “but the main reason they turn out is because we have a tactically preferential vantage point. Forget grassy noels and bell towers, if you want to survey an area and lock onto a venue for the night ahead, then we have the elevated terrain you need.”
he continued “Between 30 and 40 students cow tip themselves over the edge every evening, so kitting the top deck out with some sweet new optics is gonna mean a lot fewer 19 year olds to scrape off the floor.”
A manager at Mbargo has also welcomed the new editions to the Brass Pig’s smoking area, releasing a statement on behalf of the club yesterday afternoon:
‘We would like to thank the brass pig for the continual effort they put in to making sure students are drunk enough to convince themselves that they’ll have a good night in the perverted purple sweat-box we have liberally labelled a ‘club’. We think the new telescopes are a great addition. To show our gratitude and continue the positive relationship created between the two establishments, we will be providing night vision attachments for two of the viewfinders.’
- 1North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 2Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 3Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form
- 4Oak House students seeking prison sentences in bid for more homely accommodation
- 5Freshers caught frantically burning skinny jeans under cover of darkness