SU candidate campaigning for greater sustainability prints out 100,000 fliers

A student running for Bristol SU office has today been handing out tens of thousands of fliers detailing his manifesto, which centres on environmental sustainability and combatting climate change. Edward McCawley’s fliers are alleged to have single-handedly caused the destruction of 1/18th of the Amazonian rainforest and, admittedly, look very impressive.

The final year Politics student is bidding for the Union’s Living Officer position and spoke to The Whip earlier today. He denies, however, allegations of potential hypocrisy, saying that he is not only aware of his contradiction but is doing so intentionally.

“I’m presenting them with a solution while demonstrating the problem. People can’t see the need for a solution if the problem isn’t clear; and what’s clearer than one man (me) being both the bringer of change and the harbinger of destruction?

“So here I am, waving deforestation under their noses so they can have a whiff of the impact that our- Oh yeah thank you mate,” Edward paused to respond to a passer by.

“Would you like a badge? No? No. Ok no worries, thanks anyway. #Edward4EnvironmentalPreservationAndSustainability on Twitter, haha cheers mate- save our 4.5 billion year old mother! Yeah!” Turning back to us, “Now tell me I’m not convincing.”

Reports have emerged that the campaigner also intends to arrange a mass turning on of everyone’s heating throughout all of Bristol tomorrow. This two-pronged approach aims to demonstrate a forecast of climate change while also upping the city’s energy consumption eighteen-fold in just one day.

As well as this, other guerrilla campaign tactics have been rumoured on online forums: such as flooding Woodland Road with 54,000 gallons of water to reflect rising sea levels; and dumping single use plastics into the tanks of Bristol Aquarium in the dead of night.