Space to host meet and greet with Neil Armstrong’s cadaver

Unable to draw in the punters with promises of VIP tables, underage youths and intermittent violence alone, Space’s new night, ‘Morbid Mondays’ shall feature the opportunity for its Moschino-clad clientele to engage with the corpse of the late Neil Armstrong.

Whilst there were some initial concerns that the Space crowd might not know who Mr. Armstrong was, or even refute the legitimacy of his claim to moon landing fame, it appears Armstrong looks set to draw record crowds to the Duncan Street establishment.

The Whip attempted to contact the Armstrong estate to raise questions surrounding the morality of monetising the carcass of the great astronaut, but was unsuccessful. However, access was granted to the man responsible for such high-ticket sales, one of Space’s most active, intense and persistent promoters: Jason Goulash.

“Yo! Hey guys! JUST ANNOUNCED! Fancy celebrating with a real-life Space LEGEND!?” Mr. Goulash began, making apparent that he did indeed actually talk like his online persona, “this weekend we’ve booked in the LIFE and SOUL of the party…. Mr. Neil Armstrong!

“Get at me for VIP access – we’ve got discounted tables and bottles of Grey Goose for you to parade around! If dead astronauts aren’t your thing then we’ve got the equally vacuous Kem from Love Island the day after!”

However, it soon became obvious there was to be little more gleaned from our encounter with Mr. Goulash than trite promotional propaganda. If you’re up for finding out more, then Jason Goulash’s link gets you a pound off tickets.