A member of Cross Country Society has committed to a briskly strolling for president, it has emerged today. Cynthia Sloww-Steddy has stated she believes her campaign will represent the will of the voting body of the society, and that change must come at a gentle, not-too-taxing pace.
Epigram writers have reportedly already drawn up headlines in preparation for victory, triumphantly declaring ‘Sloww-Steddy wins the race.’ The Whip failed to catch up with the candidate one-on-one, since she was moving at a pace that made it slightly awkward to maintain conversation, and settled for a phone interview instead.
“I believe that the student body will get firmly behind me, since I’m something of a pacesetter. We must be careful not to rush into decisions, that’s where the leadership has gone wrong. They went too hard too early, and ran out of steam when the going got tough.
“I’d say I classify myself as half Paula Radcliffe, half Vince Cable. What do I want? Well-reasoned, balanced policies that cater to all of the cross country constituency. And when do I want them? In good time.”
The would-be President is reportedly doing little in the way of publicity for the time being, choosing instead to save her energy for the final sprint of campaigning.