Using the phrase ‘not a substitute for a personality’ not a substitute for a sense of humour, study shows

It’s groundbreaking work.

The findings of a groundbreaking study have just been exclusively revealed to The Whip. Using cutting edge scientific methods, researchers at the University of Bristol have conclusively proven that posting about lack of personality on an anonymous student confessions page is not actually funny.

They began by stripping the phrase down to its most basic form ‘liking X is not a substitute for a personality’. They concluded that regardless of what X is, the statement always carries the meaning ‘I think I’m better than people who like X’.

We spoke to Head of Research Martina Quaif, who told us a bit more about the motivations behind the project.

“While the researchers appreciate that explaining a joke is the fastest way to kill it, they would like to point out that no one laughed to begin with” she explained soberly. “The joke, for all intents and purposes, has already been slain.”

She went onto explain that researchers used a number of interview techniques to gauge public opinion on what an actual joke is. “In order to do this, we posed the question ‘what is a joke’ to the public. After removing responses of ‘your mum’ from the findings, we were able to show that a joke needs to be both original and clever for it to be truly considered humorous.”

Ms. Quaif, to aid further explanation, drew comparison with the phrase ‘big dick energy’, which has been rinsed so thoroughly that any thread of the original humour has been forever washed away. “I’ll be glad to see the back of both of them…For now,” she remarked ominously.


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