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Eco-friendly student stops supporting dairy industry by only drinking housemate’s milk

Saving the environment one theft at a time.

Reports have come in this morning of a courageous student combatting the injusticeof the dairy industry by only drinking milk bought by her housemates.

Maisie Campbell, 19, began the campaign on Wednesday morning, just days after announcing her conversion to veganism on Twitter. The tweet – which featured the hashtag #milkismurder – was broadcast to Campbell’s followers and received over 3 likes.

Masie stopped eating all animal products after viewing a 2 minute long video concerning the dairy industry’s abuse of cows. Masie, who is from London and has never seen a cow in her life, immediately felt distressed for the bovine creatures.

The Whip met with the Manchester undergraduate to find out more.

“Well, I had been vegan just over 24 hours when I began to feel it. I went into a sort of dream state. I was sweating and convulsing and stuff – I found out later that’s just the effect of a lifetime’s worth of dairy leaving your system. They call it the lack-tose high.”

Our researchers cannot confirm the validity of this statement, but to ensure readers’ safety, The Whip recommends against beginning a vegan diet unsupervised.

“When I woke up the next morning I felt so refreshed, it was incredible. I’d never gone that long without dairy. I was so proud of myself. But then I really fancied a cup of tea, and you can’t have tea without milk in. That’s just wrong!

“But buying milk directly supports the dairy industry. So to circumvent this, I took a bit of Sam’s milk. Genius. Those evil milk producers won’t know what hit them. 

“I suppose I could have taken Lily’s almond milk. But I’m afraid of it because I don’t know where an almond’s nipples are.”

Campbell’s campaign is expected to kickstart a new trend among students.

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