With the final season of Game of Thrones rapidly approaching, many armchair fanatics have begun speculating about which iconic characters will bite the dust. Along with Queen Cersei and Daenerys Targaryen, any chance at all of you achieving a first class degree is set to perish.
That’s right! Who’d have guessed it! Well Jonathan Gilbert, neckbearded Vice President of the university’s Game of Thrones society, suggested exactly why we should have seen this twist coming all along:
“There’s always been surprise deaths, like Ned Stark at the end of season one, but this one I think we all could have seen coming with hindsight. George R. R. Martin loves a prophecy and I think there have always been little hints, like all the attendance warnings and deadline day turnitin submissions.
“I also think the death midway through season four of your first’s partner-in-crime, Lord Motivation of House ‘To Better Oneself’, was always an indication that it was never gonna be a happy ending.”
Death is not necessarily final in Game of Thrones, with lusciously-locked Jon Snow having risen from the grave, but there’s evidence to suggest that this particular death will be final. “I think at this point your chances are probably beyond redemption,” admitted Jonathan.
“There’s magic, sure, the Lord of Light has brought people back and people can be resurrected as Wights, but no amount of magic can resurrect your car crash of a degree after three years of total incompetence and apathy. Even in mythical fantasy some things are just too unrealistic.”
We at The Whip harbour hopes that you can beat the odds and make your parents proud, but as the High Valyrian proverb ‘valar morghulis’ states, all men must die, and equally, their chances of a first will probably do the same.