Person annoyed by civil disobedience eagerly awaiting news on whether this first time in history protesting young people were wrong about major global issue

Surely this time!

Aaron Smith, 42, has described his sincere hope that the Extinction Rebellion is the first progressive social movement in recent history to have got the wrong end of the stick because he missed the tube.

Explaining that the students, teens and other assorted of young’uns had blocked his path to the escalator and thereby made him late for his pint with Joe in the White Buck, Aaron admitted that although the odds are stacked against him, he has a good feeling that their campaign is probably not right. The Whip got the status-quoer’s hot take this morning.

‘Hi there,’ said Aaron as he arrived for a drink with our interviewer, this time perfectly on time. Some polite chit-chat ensued, before delving into it all.

‘Look, I’m not saying climate change isn’t a thing. All I’m saying is that surely it’s not as bad as they are saying it is gonna be? Right? Like, come on, I get that the Dutch might be flooded and the Aussies a bit hotter, but it’s not gonna be enough of a catastrophe to justify making me late for a pint with one of the guys.

‘It’s a bit like what I said about the gays in the late nineties: you can do what you want, as long as you don’t shove it down my throat. I mean their opinions, obviously, haha! No, but seriously haha, I always said be gay, fine by me, it’s none of my business. It’s up to you what you do in the bedroom. But just don’t keep harping on about it, you know?

‘Obviously, I’ve moved on this then –  I’m not an idiot. For them to fully push the LGBT cause forward they had to be vocal and out there, otherwise, nothing would have changed and people would have stewed in their ignorance. That’s a given.

‘This time, though, I reckon my scepticism is probably spot on, yeah. Those lefty kids are definitely ruining people’s days for no good reason.’

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