8 ways to kill time while waiting for your bottle to fill up at the Blue 1 water fountain

Over Easter, you may have noticed some improvements to the main library. Water fountains which previously dispensed water at a slow trickle have been replaced by those which, at maximum output, achieve a steady drip. Here’s how to kill time  while waiting for that Chilly’s bottle to fill up.

1. Play a few rounds of duck-duck-goose

The round tables of Blue 1 are the ideal geometry for such frolicking, and what better way to make new friends? Even if your fellow students aren’t up for it, a firm slap to back of their heads will surely make them run round the table after you, which is almost the same thing.

2. Train your nose to smell fear

Standing within 5 cm of the person ahead of you in the queue, try to capture the unmistakeable whiff of stress emanating from their orifices. After a few days’ practice you may even be able to estimate how many days until their next deadline.

3. Have some fun with the Dewey-Decimal system

Find the book with the same number as your birthday, your favourite lottery numbers, or even the phone number of the last person to ignore your romantic advances. If the Da Vinci Code is anything to go by, it could be the key to a secret the university has been keeping under wraps for centuries. Enthralling.

4. Walk to north campus then get the 147 back

Never on time, this bus is like you with 9am lectures. Your bottle won’t even have half-filled by the time you get back.

5. Sprint rapidly up and down the stairs

12 hour library days might give your brain a workout but definitely not your legs. Blue 1 to Blue 4 will work off some of those meal deals and get you your 10k steps in no time.

6. Stand perfectly still in the toilets, measuring the time it takes for the motion sensor lights to turn off

This may be difficult as people enter the toilets to use the toilets, but this problem can be circumvented by barricading the door.

7. Secure cross-party support for a Brexit deal

The government have had almost three years so you may be able to squeeze this one in.

8. Strike up a conversation with the person next to you

Just kidding, bit unrealistic.