The Leeds Half Marathon is fast approaching, and many students are among those preparing to limber up and affix their nipple tape on the twelfth of May. In this melee of body and mind conditioning, The Whip has heard of one athlete that took it upon himself to complete the hardest physical challenge that Leeds has to offer: the hallowed Otley Run.
Francois Gargle, third year maths student, was the competitor in question and The Whip was able to catch up with the young athlete to ask how he managed this feat of human excellence:
“I started the run well and was smashing my normal splits averaging 4:40 a pint. At the Packhorse I hit a wall, but my years of training prepared had me for this. A few ciggies and a trip to Milano’s and I was right as rain.
“When I was finishing that last sip in Dry Dock, I finally understood what people mean by ‘runner’s high’. Well, it was either that or the intoxicating effect of 16 pints of cheap, slightly flat lager coursing through my blood stream.”
Whilst we commend on Gargle his remarkable achievement, The Whip has learned that – due to the price that comes with buying a pint in every pub on the Otley Road – the pissed-up athlete has had to sell his Half Marathon ticket and vow never to go out again until the end of his exams.