Daenerys furious to find Iron Throne reserved by Pret coffee cup and revision notes
The Whip was contacted today by a distraught Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons, who was denied her seat on the Iron Throne by virtue of it having been reserved hours earlier by a first-year looking for somewhere to revise.
“I simply can’t believe this!” roared a visibly peeved Daenerys, prompting our reporter to ask her to calm down over fears her massive dragon might get the wrong idea and burn him to a crisp.
“Seven pissing seasons I’ve been working towards this, and what do I find? Someone has dumped two sides of A4 and a coffee there, as if that somehow constitutes a rightful claim to the seat? First year doesn’t even count!”
Charlie McManus, first-year Geography student with no claim to the throne, found the nifty little spot when the library and the Loft were both too packed. “I’d been looking for a solid hour and couldn’t find a seat, so what a find this was!”
“I was chuffed with the spot so I nipped off for a ciggy or twelve. The only downsides were no plug socket and the entire building around me was burning, but I like that; it adds to the pressure,” confessed Charlie.
Unfortunately for Charlie, he was subsequently accused of treason by the Dragon Queen and massacred by Unsullied warriors, but a Guild spokesperson suggested that this was only to be expected:
“Some students simply push their luck in terms of seat reservations, and realistically, anyone abusing this can logically expect a gruesome death to follow.”
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