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Leeds UK

Chances of 2:2 degrees dramatically increased by temperatures of 22 degrees

In this case, correlation is causation.

May’s wet and dreary start has made way for glorious sunshine this week, with temperatures rising to as high as 22 degrees Celsius yesterday. This spat of warm weather has placed Leeds students in an age-old dilemma: stay in a hot, stuffy library and revise for your exams; or, alternatively, go out to Hyde Park, lounge around and get pissed.

Judging by the abundance of over-exposed, pale bodies on every possible green space both on and off campus during the first three days of this week, The Whip can confirm that students have chosen the latter, sacrificing any chances of a 2:1 to frolic in the balmy rays of spring sunshine.

The Whip went and joined these carefree students, to understand the reasoning behind their decision.

“You’ve got to take every opportunity to get a tan on,” said one second year. “I’m going to Alicante in June and I have to build up a base layer before then.”

“It’s a no brainer,” said another final-year student. “How many times are we young? Once. How many times can we retake third year? Two… maybe three times. And anyway, I spent all of Easter recovering from the ski trip rather than writing my diss so no amount of revision is going to help me now.”

On departure the pair mentioned plans to go and do some “light revision” in a beer garden. The Whip has not heard from them since.

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