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Leeds UK

Student spends eight hours in Eddy B planning holiday with ‘library boyfriend’ who doesn’t even know they exist

Sally is on course to fail the year. 

As the exam period draws closer, many Leeds students are once again spending the majority of their days hunched over a desk in the different libraries situated around campus. An inevitable result of this, is boredom: and one student has taken her procrastination to a whole new level by spending eight hours planning a holiday with her so called ‘library boyfriend’ – an unsuspecting male who isn’t even aware of her existence.

The Whip caught up with Sally Socket to get the low-down:

“So, I’d been staring at him from across the library for at least a week, but we didn’t properly click until we made accidental eye-contact. He blushed and looked uncomfortable. God, he just looks so cute when he’s uncomfortable.

“Anyway, after that I waited until he got up from his desk and followed down to the café. On the way back, I held the door open for him and I swear to God he almost thanked me. That was when I decided I should take it to the next level.

“I’ve spent all of today planning our first holiday, but in all honesty, I’m worried it might have been a waste of time. He’s being so off with me… we haven’t made eye contact for at least two hours now. I guess this is our first argument.”

Miss Socket explained that she’s started peering though estate agents’ windows to catch glimpses of potential first homes, and is worried that – whilst she’s always wanted a big family – her new life partner, whose name she’s pretty sure is Rahul, might only want one or two kids in a more traditional nuclear family.

Next week, Socket intends to plan their messy break-up before a heartfelt reconciliation in which the hopeless romantics fall into each other’s arms and declare that nothing can keep them apart.

Sally is on course to fail the year.

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