Bristol UK

Cheating the system: 5 extra minutes of intense panic secured by reading question through front of exam paper

High risk high reward.

Unbeknownst to the University of Bristol, assessment questions across this exam period are being read before the designated start time. This has led to students gaining extra panic time before their impending doom.

In order to be successful with this method, experts suggest incorporating the practice of reading backwards in your revision timetable, which can make all the difference in securing 300 extra seconds of knowing how fucked you are.

The Whip managed to talk to one of the hottest cheaters in the business, Alan Sans, second year English student.

“Every other method just didn’t work for me. This was until I realized I had a special talent for reading backwards especially with multi-layers of text.”

He continued “Perfecting this talent took a while, it isn’t purely genetics people. Every day for about two weeks I set aside 5 hours daily of my revision time to read sentences through different types of paper. From doing this, I now get an extra 5 minutes of reading compared to those who follow the ‘rules’.”

The University was contacted for a comment:

‘We know students do cheat and we try to keep control of the new methods as they arise. But this is different. It’s potentially unstoppable. The only saving grace is that the ones that usually deploy this method have under-revised to such a great extent that they fail anyway.’


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