How is Hunee pronounced? What’s the difference between Craig Richards and Craig David? What even is tech house and why isn’t it cool? Stevie Baker, like most of us, is stumped by these questions, and is running out of time to find the answers.
Six days remain until the enormous migration of middle class UoM students to Anglesey for the hard-hitting electronic music festival that is Gottwood. For Stevie, a second-year Politics student, this is not enough time to rote-learn all the Boiler Rooms and NTS sets of the entire alphabetised list of DJs presented on the lineup.
Reporters from The Whip found Stevie in the library staring bleary-eyed at a copy of the lineup poster, desperately highlighting different genres in different colours for maximum efficiency revision.
He said: “This music isn’t really my thing. I’m only going because everyone else is. But I don’t want to be that guy who accidentally wants to see the wrong DJ. One time I said, ‘Shall we go see Mr. Scruff?’ and got laughed out the festival.
“So this year I’m foolproofing myself. The ultimate goal is to be able to recite, with timings, the tracklist of any artist’s Boiler Room. I’ve set up several hundred Facebook burner accounts to post on IOM – most of the ID requests you’ve seen, be it Italo disco or leftfield techno, they’re all me.
“If I pull this off, I’m going to be a Manchester music scene legend. I’m talking up there with 808 State; the next Voodoo Ray. If I fail, I suppose I can always take up bedroom DJing and begging my cool coursemate to let me do a set at his next Cubo event.”
It appears that no matter how much revision Stevie does, there will always be someone around to tell him his favourite DJ is bait.