‘I’m like Bradley Cooper in Limitless!’ declares drooling, sleep-deprived modafinil addict
As final exams draw closer, many students seek the effects of prescription narcotics to boost their focus and stamina in the runup to assessments. Users claim that ‘study drugs’ such as Ritalin and Modafinil can enhance productivity by increasing alertness.
However, new research has found that for many students, quite the opposite is true.
We caught up with second year economics student and regular modafinil user Jean Eric, to ask about his stance on these claims.
“I’ve honestly never felt better” said Jean, pausing to take a frenzied gulp of water. “My mates keep warning me about taking too much too often, but they haven’t experienced the thrill of seeing the sunrise from the top floor window of the library!”
Eric then proceeded to buy four vending machine coffee before continuing the interview.
“Modafinil has been life-changing for me. Apparently, we only utilise 20% of the brain normally, but good old daffy lets me access the whole damn thing. Just like in that film with Bradley Hooper or whatever it is….”
we left Mr Eric outside the ASS at 4am transfixed by a flickering streetlamp.
SU Wellbeing Officer Rita Linn has advocated for the use of study drugs during exam period as a method of harm reduction:
“If students are going to stay up all night taking unreasonable amounts of dangerous stimulants, they may as well be doing it within the safety of the library.”
- 1North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 2Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 3Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form
- 4Oak House students seeking prison sentences in bid for more homely accommodation
- 5Freshers caught frantically burning skinny jeans under cover of darkness