Considerate friend ensures flatmate is up for 9am exam by blaring drum and bass from 5 in the morning

A heart-warming tale of thoughtfulness and friendship came in from a second year flat earlier this week.

Redland Romeo, Ed Jeeves, decided to go the extra mile for his flatmates, ensuring they made their 9am exams in plenty of time by waking them up 4 hours in advance with a soothing collection of DnB, Grime and industrial techno tunes.

Our correspondent made contact with the geography student to find out how such a ritual came to be…

“You know, I’ve realised that I might not have been the best flatmate this year”, confessed Ed as he balanced three pizza boxes on top of an overflowing bin. “People are just so stressed this time of year, and I really wanted to do something to show my appreciation and admiration for their continuous hard work.”

He continued “I read an article recently that said classical music boosts your productivity. Now obviously “classical” is a term relative to the time in which you’re living. So, I had to think, ‘What are some of today’s classical masterpieces?’ Skepta, Chase and Status, the SoundCloud tracks I made during spring reading week, all timeless chef d’oeuvres I’m sure you’d agree. I’m even thinking of adding some Gabber in there next week, just to really get them in a productive mindset.”

“To top it off, I always make sure I start playing my tracks at least 4 hours before their exams, so their brains undergo maximum stimulation. Pretty kind of me really…” He noted humbly.

As generous as this act of kindness may be, some of Ed’s flatmates feel differently towards the strategy…

“I swear to Christ if he doesn’t shut up with his shit music at 5am, I’ll smash his stupid smug face with his ‘precious decks’. He’s not Denis fucking Sulta. He’s a massive wanker.”