Love Island fans and Tory party members finally come together over love for terrifying dystopian reality TV

Together at last!

Common ground between fans of ITV’s Love Island and followers of the Conservative party has historically been sparse. However, recent findings have shown that the two groups share both a disdain for one another, and a penchant for really quite worrisome reality television.

“I love all the drama which unfolds between a group of vapid, out of touch celebrities when they battle it out for public approval!” said Rupert Whittingstall, a keen follower of the upcoming Tory leadership election.

“That Love Island crap? Why would I watch a group of vapid, out of touch celebrities compete for public approval? This country is going to shit if you ask me.”

Chantelle White, a fan of ITV’s popular reality show gave her take on the matter. “From an anthropological point of view, Love Island is fascinating. As a modern conceptualisation of Bentham’s panopticon, it represents the surveillance of one’s self in our individualist consumer-capitalist economy.”

“No, I’m not following the Conservative leadership election. It’s nothing more than a glorified vanity contest.”

The Whip spoke to psychologist Jarl Kung to shed some light on these bizarre findings:

“While both groups reject one another, they experience a similar sadistic enjoyment from their relevant viewing.

“However our research has shown that none of them are as bad as the smug arseholes who pride themselves on not following either.”

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