Common ground between fans of ITV’s Love Island and followers of the Conservative party has historically been sparse. However, recent findings have shown that the two groups share both a disdain for one another, and a penchant for really quite worrisome reality television.
“I love all the drama which unfolds between a group of vapid, out of touch celebrities when they battle it out for public approval!” said Rupert Whittingstall, a keen follower of the upcoming Tory leadership election.
“That Love Island crap? Why would I watch a group of vapid, out of touch celebrities compete for public approval? This country is going to shit if you ask me.”
Chantelle White, a fan of ITV’s popular reality show gave her take on the matter. “From an anthropological point of view, Love Island is fascinating. As a modern conceptualisation of Bentham’s panopticon, it represents the surveillance of one’s self in our individualist consumer-capitalist economy.”
“No, I’m not following the Conservative leadership election. It’s nothing more than a glorified vanity contest.”
The Whip spoke to psychologist Jarl Kung to shed some light on these bizarre findings:
“While both groups reject one another, they experience a similar sadistic enjoyment from their relevant viewing.
“However our research has shown that none of them are as bad as the smug arseholes who pride themselves on not following either.”