Fresher from Westminster pleased to reveal coke addiction replaced with a ket addiction

A stunning move.

As new students arrive and enjoy their first few weeks, many adapt to fit in at Exeter or develop new hobbies and habits often to the distaste of their old friends. Jonty Williams – a recent arrival at Exeter to study Business and Finance – is just one of these brave souls.

took to Facebook this week to proudly announce that, in keeping with his new “squalid” surroundings and state school housemates, he would be replacing his cocaine addiction with a ketamine addiction. “This wasn’t an easy decision,” wrote Jonty in an emotive post.

“I could feel my housemates all staring at me, judging me for having the money to afford coke. They see the Polo belt and Barbour jacket and think I’m some jumped up private-schooled cokehead. Which I am, but that isn’t the point.”

Jonty’s flatmates didn’t seem to care which drug he was taking, however, only taking offense with him “racking up lines for breakfast and then trying to fight everyone else in the flat to assert his dominance,” claims which Jonty shrugged off as “a bit of icebreaking banter.”

The Whip found some of Jonty’s friends from his time at Westminster School, and asked for their take, with some stating they “always thought he was a bit of a chav,” whilst others were proud of his brave decision to “slum it.”

Whatever the case, he now in his own words “feels much more at home in Exeter,” and “might even stop wearing his deck shoes with every outfit he owns.”

We at The Whip are just glad to see Freshers from all over the world settling in, dusting their nostrils with whatever they most feel comfortable with.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *