With freshers’ week in full swing, the desire of many first-year students to convince their new friends that they are interesting, funny and sexually experienced is as prominent as ever.
This was the case with Bella Bickerton who, in a classic ice-breaking drinking game, not only disclosed details of what she referred to as her ‘Third Base Bike Shed Bonanza’, but also revealed the entire itinerary of her gap year trip to India.
The Whip caught up with flatmate Charlie Dudd who remorsefully confessed to having posed the fateful question which sent Bella into verbal frenzy. Charlie claimed to have endured a 45-minute explanation of ‘The Night Bus from Hell’ between Goa and Mumbai alongside a nutritional analysis of a ‘dodgy’ prawn biryani she ate in Chennai.
Some sources say Bella went as far as producing an annotated diagram of said biryani, as well as posting a link on her flat group chat to a Google document containing pages and pages of kit lists, tips and ‘cheap bites’.
“Fuuuuck me,” exhaled flatmate Charlie. “Thank Christ I’m out the other side of that…I thought she’d stop at the biryani but then she started blurting out facts about Dehli Belly in West Bengal. All I said was never have I ever shit myself.”