A local houseplant has today revealed the extent of their toxic nicotine dependence, and the life-altering effect it has had.
Herbert Foliage, a spider plant originally from B&M, spoke out against the horrendous ill-treatment and substance abuse he has been victim to, after inhaling 4000 fags-worth of second hand smoke.
“When it began, I still able to cope and remain fairly healthy and optimistic. When the first dimp was stubbed into my soil I naturally assumed I would soon be re-potted. I had no idea that was only the beginning.
“Two months later I was a complete fag-head. All I could think about was my next niccy-rush.
“Thankfully, the landlord finally intervened, and the smoking indoors stopped. Sadly, my addiction didn’t.
“Now, my whole trunk is covered in niccy patches. I’ve got a soil composition of 50% earth and 50% crushed niccy tablets.”
Foliage stated he would like to personally thank Niquitin for their range of stopping smoking aids, and the addiction relief they have provided.