The first few weeks of university can be an overwhelming time for many, as students attempt to find the delicate balance between getting hammered every night and maintaining the ability to perform basic tasks.
This week, one inebriated fresher took drunken stupor to a new level when he arrived at Buckingham Palace after being timetabled to register at the Queen’s Building for a course meet-and-greet.
We caught up with first year engineering student Richard Head over the phone as he came to terms with his blunder:
“One minute you’re skulling cans at pres, the next you’re boarding the 5am Megabus to London. Simple mistake – easily made. Jesus, my head hurts. Need the john but my effing U-Card isn’t working on these effing gilded gates. Pretentious if you ask me.”
Surprisingly, Richard’s tutor was understanding when we reached out to him for comment:
“We’ve all made mistakes when we’ve had a little too much to drink the night before. Just this time last year I came in steaming and ranting about my ongoing divorce for two hours, instead of delivering the thermodynamics lecture that was planned.
“Fortunately the silly bastards were all too hungover to notice.”