Hungover fresher arrives at Buckingham Palace after being told to report to the Queen’s Building
The first few weeks of university can be an overwhelming time for many, as students attempt to find the delicate balance between getting hammered every night and maintaining the ability to perform basic tasks.
This week, one inebriated fresher took drunken stupor to a new level when he arrived at Buckingham Palace after being timetabled to register at the Queen’s Building for a course meet-and-greet.
We caught up with first year engineering student Richard Head over the phone as he came to terms with his blunder:
“One minute you’re skulling cans at pres, the next you’re boarding the 5am Megabus to London. Simple mistake – easily made. Jesus, my head hurts. Need the john but my effing U-Card isn’t working on these effing gilded gates. Pretentious if you ask me.”
Surprisingly, Richard’s tutor was understanding when we reached out to him for comment:
“We’ve all made mistakes when we’ve had a little too much to drink the night before. Just this time last year I came in steaming and ranting about my ongoing divorce for two hours, instead of delivering the thermodynamics lecture that was planned.
“Fortunately the silly bastards were all too hungover to notice.”
- 1Greta delivers earth-shattering Motion techno set during Bristol visit
- 2Third year revises so hard that ‘chilled study beats’ becomes actual music taste
- 3Fresher dismayed to find cacti, scratch map and wall hanging not actually substitute for personality
- 4North London fresher’s attempt to start anew ruined as entire sixth form moves to Bristol
- 5Breaking: Theresa May starts filling out extenuating circumstances form