Wise fresher makes sensible decision to sleep with flatmate

Forward thinking fresher, Jamie Cole, today revealed the genius course of action he decided to take to ensure an enjoyable and relaxed first year.

“I hear a lot of people find moving to a new city and starting uni really fraught, and at times difficult.” He explained to The Whip.

“With this in mind, I wanted to avoid any awkwardness and really make a seamless transition into my new flat. I thought, what better way to get to know your flatmate than to shag them?

“It’s funny actually. When we were all sitting in the kitchen having a riveting game of ‘Never Have I Ever’, I remember looking at her and thinking, probably a 5/10 at best.

“Later in the night, I had 25 minutes to reflect on stuff as I tried to roll a rollie. I realised what a shallow mistake I’d been making all this time – saying that I’d only shag a 5.5 or above.

“It’s not all about the numbers. It’s about making sacrifices for the greater good – in this case, putting everyone in the flat at ease.

“In the morning it was great. She obviously thought I was hilarious. It must just be my naturally comedic delivery. She even found it funny when I asked her if I’d made her cum!”