Student actually converts to Mormonism after speaking to Mormon

Early Thursday morning, after a particularly heavy AU, first year History student Stephanie Roca converted to Mormonism after an enlightening conversation with Georgia, a member of the Church of Latter Day saints.

The revelation comes after several years of Mormons on Oxford Road trying and failing to convert hungover students to their religion and subsequently damning them to a fiery eternity in Hell.

Reporters from The Whip caught up with Steph to get the full story.

“Well, I was just on my way to uni when I was accosted by the Mormons and, shortly after being told that ‘you are currently facing an eternity of damnnation in fire and brimstone,’ I did the logical thing. I actually took the Book of Mormon and read it.

“I’ve cast off my sins in the name of the Lord and I hope that other students will see the light and join us, lest they suffer the same eternal fate.

“If you needed any more convincing there’s an annual trip to Salt Lake City where I’ve heard the nightlife is on a biblical scale.

“At the very least if everyone turns Mormon we’ll all hear less about gap years and more about religious missions.”