‘You know those kill you?’ wheezes smoker to vaper

A campus-wide anti-vaping campaign has been started by a second-year geography student. Ruby Printer, the founder of the ‘Vapes4Apes’ movement, attributes its success to a to an eye-opening conversation with fellow student Will Bookshelf.

In an exclusive interview with The Whip, Ruby gives us the lowdown on how it all begun.

“I was taking a huge rip from my new Juul when Will told me about the rising number of vape-associated accidents in America.

“At first, I thought that 27 deaths are nothing compared to the staggering amount of suffering and sickness which results from smoking. But then I saw my senses and knew I had to do something. And I really needed a fag.”

Vapes4Apes has faced backlash from several opposition groups, including Cigs4Pigs, Make America Vape Again, and Carcinogen Rebellion. These groups claim that the anti-vaping campaigner’s true interests lie in her nicotine addiction and father’s shares in tobacco plantations.

We asked vaping advocate and all-round douchebag Robert Nobert what he thought about the movement:

“Ruby’s campaign may have risen from the ashes like a phoenix, but it’s bound to all go up in smoke.”