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Mate who’s ‘just being honest’ actually just being a cunt

In an unexpected revelation, honesty, The Whip can exclusively reveal, is not always the best policy. This is particularly true when being frank becomes a guise for straight up character assassination, as two warring housemates discovered this week.

In a row resulting from a shower gel standoff turned sour, Donnacha O’Dashboard launched into an ‘honest’ tirade against unsuspecting housemate Spencer Watson-Wantworth, covering a range of sensitive topics, including Spencer’s diet, work ethic, ill-advised experimental facial hair and overweight dog.

The Whip was able to catch up with the rather traumatised Watson-Wantworth earlier this week:

“There I am, halfway through my morning cafetière, when rampaging down the stairs comes Donnacha, scantily clad and hurling profanities every which way,” Spencer began.

“‘Where’s the bloody Radox,’ he screams, then comes the classic line, in an attempt to excuse the savage blows he’s about to render unto my personality, ‘to be honest with you mate…’ well the rest, along with our friendship, is history.

“Totally uncalled for, my dog isn’t even that fat.”

At the time of press, it is thought the two friends have since expressed their undying love for one another in a dramatic drunken reconciliation.

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