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Student accidentally agrees to sacrifice firstborn in house contract small print

Reports just in confirm an unprecedented student-landlord disagreement has taken place, whereby a 21 year old student has unwittingly agreed to offer up his first born to his landlord as part of a pre-agreed deposit.

The court case is ongoing, with Jack Barker attempting to appeal the decision on the grounds that he was hungover when he signed the contract. “I’d had a bit of a mad one for Charlie’s birthday the night before, we went Friendship then ended up at Cubo. Just one of them ones.” he told The Whip.

“I wasn’t really paying attention to be honest and I kind of regret it now, next time I sign a contract I’ll probs actually read it.” At the time of the signing, the small print had appeared, through Barker’s bloodshot eyes, to just be a grey blur.

The landlord, Andrew Morrison, is maintaining his stance. Barker’s lawyers are attempting to appeal to Morrison’s softer side but to no avail. Despite their best efforts, it looks like Barker’s first child is set contractually be a part of Morrison’s covert sacrificial rituals. When asked to give a comment Morrison declined.

In a final statement Barker added “On the bright side at least I don’t have to worry about paying my deposit just yet and I’m not gonna go into my overdraft!”

The Whip will be following the ongoing court case.

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