‘That’ll do’, smiles first year, agreeing to live with tuna-girl, accordionist and Boglinol the Bloodthirsty

“I’m just so relieved to have sorted a student house!”

With the academic year well and truly underway, and first years in the process of sorting second year housing, one student, named James Foster, is reportedly delighted at having already secured a student let for the next academic year.

James has today stopped by his letting agents to sign for a student house, along with a girl who seems to exclusively eat tuna, a Trinity College London certified ‘beginner’ level accordionist, and well-known BDOC (Big Demon On Campus), Boglinol the Bloodthirsty, summoned from the depths of Azgoth to bring chaos to the mortal realm.

Seemingly unaware of how this decision could possibly come back to haunt him, James spoke to The Whip about his delight at putting second year housing to bed.

“I’m over the moon if I’m being honest, I’m just so relieved to have sorted a place for second year. People have questioned why I’m living with a bloodthirsty demon summoned from the darkest depths of hell, but they just haven’t seen the real Boglinol. I’m sure that deep down, old Boggers is a real softy.”

When asked whether he was concerned about the hair-raising, blood-curdling, gut-wrenching noises he might have to endure, James did not seem worried; “Not at all, I am actually a big fan of accordion music, and besides, it’ll help cover up the screams of Boglinol’s victims as he tears off their limbs.”

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