Breaking: Home friends getting pregnant on purpose

Truly shocking scenes.

There was anger and confusion in a Redland student house this morning as residents were awoken by the sound of rapid fire creative swearing emanating from the room of one Rachael Duff. The Whip can exclusively reveal the ultimate cause of this shock: intentional procreation.

“I was just scrolling through Facebook this morning” explained second year social policy student Ms Duff, “when I discovered that Amber Miller from school was pregnant! Like, pregnant pregnant, not morning after pill pregnant, pregnant on purpose! On purpose!”

“At my 17th she got so drunk on Lambrini that she vommed in a plant pot and tried to get with my weird uncle. That was only two years ago, and now she’s decided that she’s responsible enough to grow a whole human inside her!”

The original post read “So glad to have my man by my side as I bring a new one into the world, feeling so #blessed” accompanied by a barely decipherable ultrasound image.

Flatmates of Ms Duff were disgruntled initially but, upon learning the nature of the situation, generally agreed that the response was proportional, if not a little more restrained than they would have expected.

“Honestly, I probably would have smashed a mug out of sheer confusion,” said most useless flatmate Jonathon Wigmore

“Fortunately none of my boys back home are knocking anyone up. Hang on, I’m getting a WhatsApp,” he continued, before instantly dropping his mug full of lukewarm tea.

Ms Miller is now an administrative assistant at a pipe distribution company who lives in a flat she shares with her boyfriend Eddie. When asked for comment she said “I couldn’t be happier. Me and Eddie were really lucky it happened so quickly for us.” On the subject of former school friend Rachel, she said that she “worried about her, living in a drafty old house far from home,” but that she wished her the best.

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